Well, it has come to my attention that really old people shouldn’t be allowed to drive. While searching the parking lot of a local super market for the perfect parking spot, I came across this all too common sight in today’s society.

Some might think, oh sweet action shot. There is no action here. The old man that parked this beast isnt in the car anymore. This is actually how he parked the car. They have parking spots for the “physically” handicapped, which is perfectly fine with me, but what about the mentally handicapped?

I couldn’t help but take another picture, but this time I tried to include the parade of cars trying to get through the one lane he left open. How considerate, right?

Well I just thought I would do my part end educate the public on this very important issue. I don’t know what I can do about it, but maybe someone reading this can put millions of people’s frustration into some sort of petition, or maybe a law. If you’re 80 years or older and on alzheimers medication, you cant drive.

Here is a kick ass list of nerd jokes.

Enjoy.

1. Duct Tape is like the Force.It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
2. Darth Vader’s wife is named Ella.
3. Sex is the most fun you can have without logging on.
4. How is a computer like an erection?It stays up as long as you don’t screw with it!
5. A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.The first nerd was stunned and asked, “Where did you get such a nice bike?”The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike.

   She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want!’”

   The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

6. An application was for employment
   A program was a TV show
   A cursor used profanity
   A keyboard was a piano!

   Memory was something that you lost with age
   A CD was a bank account
   And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy
   You hoped nobody found out!

   Compress was something you did to garbage
   Not something you did to a file
   And if you unzipped anything in public
   You’d be in jail for awhile!

   Log on was adding wood to a fire
   Hard drive was a long trip on the road
   A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
   And a backup happened to your commode!

   Cut – you did with a pocket knife
   Paste you did with glue
   A web was a spider’s home
   And a virus was the flu!

   I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper
   And the memory in my head
   I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
   But when it happens they wish they were dead!

7. A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s navigation and communications equipment. Due to the darkness and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to get back to the airport.The pilot saw a tall building with lights on and flew toward it, the pilot had the passenger draw a handwritten sign reading “WHERE AM I?” and hold it up for the building’s occupants to see.People in the building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.”

   The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

   After they were on the ground, the passenger asked the pilot how the “YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER” sign helped determine their position.

   The pilot responded “I knew that had to be the Microsoft support building, they gave me a technically correct but entirely useless answer.”

8. A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. Upon being asked the price, the bartender responded, “For you? No charge.”
9. Two atoms are walking down the street. One suddenly stops and says, “Oh no, I’ve lost an electron.”
   “Are you sure?”
   “I’m positive!”
10. What did the proton say to the electron?
    Stop being so negative
11. This customer comes into the computer store. “Im looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging.” “Well,” replied the clerk, “Have you tried Windows 98?”
12. If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed…Oh, wait a minute, he already does.
13. Computers manufacturer is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.
14. Whats another name for the “Windows Vista ™” sticker they put on computers?
    The warning label.
15. Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on?
    Pupil: No, Miss, the dress youre wearing looks fine.
16. I’ve been on my computer all night!
    Don’t you think you’d be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?
17. Some people say the glass is half full. Others say it is half empty. Nerds say you made too much glass.
18. A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops. They went round to his flat and broke down the door. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. The instructions on the bottle said:

    1. Wet hair
    2. Apply shampoo
    3. Lather
    4. Rinse
    5. Repeat

19. Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF
20. Nerdy pick-up lines :
    “I wish I was DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes”
    “Baby, you must be auxin cuz you’re giving me rapid stem elongation”
    “Baby, you turn my floopy disk into a hard drive”
    “YouTube Myspace and I’ll Google your Yahoo”

I hope you liked the jokes I have put together, pass it on to your friends!

Want to annoy someone? Want to screw with your friends? Well you have come to the right place. Below is the answer.

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    “DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
    “What?”
    “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”